It turns out I am NOT a quitter, keep trying until you succeed or keep trying at least until your body is addicted to sugar and large quantities again! It only took me 3 weeks of persistence to form this new bad habit, all in the name of Christmas celebrations and not give a fuckery.
So, I get an email from my personal trainer as to the start of a new programme, a 21-day challenge. I was gonna do it anyway to kick start my New Year, knowing my love of Christmas trifle and Turkey stuffing, it had to happen or I’d be making batches of stuffing, served with a side order of stuffing well into the next season. I had no intentions of reading the information that came along with the programme, I’ve been here before, I do know it all. True. Anyway, seeing he put the effort in, I thought I would, reading, reading, reading, I hit page 8 of said booklet. NO TAKEAWAY FOR THE NEXT 21 DAYS. Well, I can tell you the truth that I rarely eat takeaway, true story, yet, reading those words made me think of a Jnr Whopper. A Jnr Whopper with cheese minus onion, extra pickles. I had ZERO thoughts of eating a Jnr Whopper before I read the email and can’t quite recall the last time I ate one, however, I NEEDED one, immediately. The mind games started, you don’t need a Jnr Whopper, don’t be ridiculous, eat ya fucking salad! However, with every mouthful of salad, the thoughts continued. Fuck it, I go back to the email, when does this start, when can I no longer eat the thing I rarely eat but need now? Right, in two days, what to do? Do I succumb to the need for the fast food or do I ride out the mind thought trail?
Fuck it, get the junk food! So, me being me, wasn’t going to pay full price, that shit is expensive, get online, what coupons do they have, I could get TWO Jnr Whoopers with two small chips for the same price as the burger. SOLD! I can’t move past this until I have this in my belly, right? Off I go to the shopping centre, which fills me with anxiety, positioning my car in the drive-thru lane, using the drive-thru removes a little of the guilt you know. Fact! Mobile phone loaded with coupon, purchase the special, wait, what, a frozen coke for a ONE DOLLAR, yes please! DONE. I eat half of the first packet of chips on the way home, best when hot right? I gotta say, they were fuckin’ good! Like real chips, not those shitty fries, there you go, they’ve changed their chips! Get home. Now, I could’ve hidden out in some car park eating the soon to be banned meal, but no, I sucked it up and went home to consume in full view of the husband. I needed a witness to this appalling behaviour, and maybe a partner in crime. I promptly gave away the second chip packet, as my cover was already blown anyway, the dog was waiting, she can smell a hot chip a mile away! The husband didn’t judge. I ate the first burger and the rest of the chips. Right, I DID offer the second burger to the man of the house, who rolled his eyes in disgust. It is only a SMALL burger, surely two would still be less equivalent calories to one bacon double cheeseburger deluxe? I know the answer to this is available from a simple Google search, but I don’t really need to know the answer. So into the second burger I go. I need to remind you, I don’t normally eat this stuff, but man, it was so fucking good! I honestly felt ill after the first, but you know, not one to waste, I soldiered on, once again failure, a quitter. The dog DID get the 2nd packet of chips and most of the bread component on the second burger, not the pickles though, she didn’t get them! Off for a lay down of regret and resentment I went.
Now, this would NEVER have happened if I didn’t read the NO TAKEAWAY rule. Stupid reading gets you nowhere! This is how my brain works and how I constantly struggle with it. I DID make it through the 3-week challenge. I did get back on track, apart from the odd ice cream snack, don’t judge until you have tasted the new Connoisseur Boston Chocolate Brownie & Chocolate Custard flavour, it’s gonna take more than 21 days to break that addiction, and tasty lamingtons for Australia Day, we will address this in February. I did get my fitness back on track. I do feel so much better. I did lose weight. I did improve on my fitness test. I have indeed kickstarted my 2017!
Postscript
In true RK style, I took a few days to proof read and moments before I was going to publish this post, I wasted time on facebook. Meh, I know. Anyway, the darndest thing popped up in my “memories” notification. This pic of which I scanned 3 years ago from a clean up of my spare room. I had actually drawn this self portrait back in the early 90’s, maybe 1992. Hehehehe, I guess I haven’t changed a bit, still dreaming of a Jnr Whopper!
